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Monday, 9 December 2013

Naughty or Nice?

Dianna's question for me today: Have you been naughty or nice this year?

A fun, seasonal, and interesting question, and although I would love to say I have been a very naughty girl, and mean it in the fun and dirty way we often imagine when someone gives that answer . . . it would be a lie lol I would have to say that I have been a mixture of both, and in very simple, silly ways to the serious.

I have been dieting for the last two months and I have lost a stone. I'm happy - even though I feel no different and can personally see no difference, but the scales say those pounds have vanished - but naturally dieting near Christmas is a silly idea. I have been naughty because I have started to pick at the treats in the cupboard with the Christmas goodies in. I don't need to eat what's in there, but I have been nibbling and I have to say despite the fact that I scold myself after I have eaten those things, I still do it the next day. So, in that respect I have been naughty in a silly little way.

I always try to be nice to people, even if they are strangers; working in retail makes it hard because customers can be very rude and horrible sometimes, but I try to be nice . . . and then end up ranting after they have left so I can shake off the frustration they caused, which isn't nice.

I try to keep positive thoughts. I try to see the good in everyone. I try to rise above those who want to beat everyone around them down  . . . It's difficult, and I often fail. I get worked up and end up arguing or having a heated discussion with someone.

On one hand I'm very thankful for the things I have, and then on the flip side I find myself cursing everything. Example being, I work because I need to pay my bills - like everyone - and I'm getting a lot of overtime, and a decent wage, something I should be thankful for, but I get irritated, because the more hours I do the less energy I have; the less time I have to write, and my passion ends up suffering. So I get frustrated, and stressed, and begin to sound ungrateful.

This year has actually been hard, both with jobs and my personal life. There has been a lot going on round me; the majority of it hasn't been good. I've changed jobs. Been retrained. Started from scratch in more ways than one. It has been a tiring year and I have often found myself wishing for some people to leave me alone; wishing for space, and more time, and for things to change . . . instead of just going with the flow and seeing what happens. Instead of accepting that everything that has happened this year has indeed happened for a reason.

My impatience makes me naughty person. The fact that I'm easily irritable, and frustrated. The fact that I'm always looking ahead, wanting to be further down the line, and not concentrating on now, and what I have got.

I haven't gone out of my way to be unkind to anyone or to purposely ruin someone day or plans etc, I never say or doing anything to purposely hurt someone, so I don't think I will be getting a lump of coal off Santa this year, but I don't think I have been a complete saint either.

Hopefully next year will be a lot more fun, because being naughty for fun makes a BIG difference. ;-p

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