I am a strong believer in signs, or well, messages, nudges, whatever you want to call them. I think sometimes we get little prompts in life when we need to do things, or change things, or well, just need help.
I guess to a lot of people that might sound crazy, but then I guess it depends on your belief. Personally, I'm open minded. I come from a mixed family where one half are Christians, and the other believe in god, but they also believe in spirituality; angels, spirits, energy, etc. I take after this side of the family. I've always believe that there are people around us - spirits, angels - call them what you will, and I believe that sometimes they can guide you when you need it.
I've been feeling very frustrated and often lost this last two years due to many things, but I have felt very stuck and unsure what to do or where to go, and so like most people, I stuck with my routine, and just went with the flow. The frustration has only continued to build and to the point where I will run myself into the ground if I don't do something, but what?
I have a lot of fear. I'm afraid of well, living I guess, but then I think it also depends on what a person views of living, because there are many different ways. All I know is I don't feel like I am. I feel like I'm exsisting, and call me stupid, but I have a deep rooted belief that has been with me since I was a child that I have a purpose, I'm here for a reason - like we all are.
I'm still figuring it out, naturally, but despite the fact I've known for a long time that it is up to me to sort myself out, ditch all negativity; get rid of what is dragging me down, and do what I love, it has taken till now for that knowledge to truly sink in, but it is, and the funny thing is I keep hearing the same advice over and over; you can do anything you want.
Sounds crazy, right? Such a simple piece of advice. So straight forward, but so true and so to the point. I can do anything, theoretically nothing is holding me back. If I'm unhappy I have to change things so that I'm happy.
Needless to say, I have bee thinking seriously about my life the last few months. I'm not old, I know that, but I also know that the clock isn't going to go backward. So I need to start making those changes. I need to get myself in a position I want to be in. I need to thrive. I need to create. I need to wake up each morning and look forward to the day before me, not pray that it goes quickly.
I wont be giving up writing, just so you know. That is the one thing that will be staying put, and it is one of the main reasons that I need to start weeding my life. I have been telling myself things will settle, get better, but I need to be the one to make things better so that they will settle and I can crack on.
The signs, nudges, messages I have to back me up and tell me that I'm right have come in many forms. A lot have been from family and friends telling me straight. Dianna Hardy's upcoming release "The Spell of Summer," actually spoke volumes to me in regards to living the life you want, not settling, being happy. Powerful message in that book for anyone who is open to it. The other was actually a song that keeps popping in my head. I've heard it before. Never really paid too much attention to it, but the lyrics are fab. It's called, "You Are The Universe" by the Brand New Heavies.
"You are the universe
And there ain't nothin' you can't do
If you conceive it, you can achieve it
That's why, I believe in you, yes I do"
And it's the truth. We all have the power to achieve anything as long as we have the idea and the drive. I know I need to start really working for what I want, because I don't want to wake up and find that I'm 80+ and regret being so afraid to just go and live my dreams.