I've come to think that it's a good thing I write fiction, because I don't know how good I am at the real life stuff. I find it hard to see it as real life - most of the time, I feel like I'm living other people's reality. Is this my world? It doesn't feel like my world...
I can be a bit of a clutz. I get things wrong.
I call people (who I am trying to acquire a service from) by the wrong name - did it today. Ah ... at least my little hole is comfy...
I never know what's going on half the time. I hate interrupting conversations that people are having, so often I'll be the one at the edge of some social gathering trying not to look uncomfortable and like I don't belong. My thoughts are so weird most of the time, that I often find conversation either difficult or pointless. I hate formal occasions. Sometimes I can get into the role and pretend this is "me" for an evening, but it is a pretense - give me my worn out jeans to wear any time.
Growing up, ever since I can remember, I often felt like an alien, or like I was born in the wrong time and place. As if The Powers That Be chucked me out of the proverbial plane by accident and I ended up ... not where I was supposed to be.
Still I feel like this. Even as an adult, I have not been able to shake it.
Yeah. Thank god for the ability to write
my own reality fiction.