I've come to think that it's a good thing I write fiction, because I don't know how good I am at the real life stuff. I find it hard to see it as real life - most of the time, I feel like I'm living other people's reality. Is this my world? It doesn't feel like my world...
I can be a bit of a clutz. I get things wrong.
I call people (who I am trying to acquire a service from) by the wrong name - did it today. Ah ... at least my little hole is comfy...
I never know what's going on half the time. I hate interrupting conversations that people are having, so often I'll be the one at the edge of some social gathering trying not to look uncomfortable and like I don't belong. My thoughts are so weird most of the time, that I often find conversation either difficult or pointless. I hate formal occasions. Sometimes I can get into the role and pretend this is "me" for an evening, but it is a pretense - give me my worn out jeans to wear any time.
Growing up, ever since I can remember, I often felt like an alien, or like I was born in the wrong time and place. As if The Powers That Be chucked me out of the proverbial plane by accident and I ended up ... not where I was supposed to be.
Still I feel like this. Even as an adult, I have not been able to shake it.
Yeah. Thank god for the ability to write my own reality fiction.
Dianna x
I can relate to some extent. Although, I wouldn't even know where to begin, but real life sometimes seems like . . . crazy. I don't know. I'm always in my head, and always wondering what's next, which is rather bad in terms of living in the moment.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hated being a child. I really couldn't wait to be a grown-up, but my whole life I've just felt like I'm floating. I kinda hate it, because I feel like I'm lost. I suppose that's why I've always been into the creative stuff. There is direction to it. No floating. Plus, it's like totally fun and awesome to create stuff. :-P
SO yeah, I kinda get what you mean. xxx